We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
