I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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