I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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