I got chris browned last night
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
