So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
