i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
