I'm jealous of your bromance
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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