Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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