So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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