I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
