some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
