love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
