just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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