I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
