Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
