I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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