I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
