I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
