Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
