You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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