I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
