last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
