There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
