Your face is a jimmy john
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
