Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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