I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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