obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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