Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
