I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
