can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
