did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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