we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
