i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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