There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
