My first STD was from a foam party
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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