I wanna bring you to show and tell
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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