He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
