I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
