I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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