i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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