Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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