the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
