i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
