Dual....:-)
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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