So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just cropdusted the office
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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