It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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