She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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