But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
