Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
