I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
