he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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