That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
