He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize